Your paper with my comments is attached to this email. Please review my comments carefully. While this submission is better than what you have provided to date, it still needs substantial work to earn a passing grade.
Your paper creates a fundamental contradiction. Your task was to recommend policies to protect the industry in the event of the next economic crisis. Your main recommendation was to open the industry and allow more competitors into the industry. This tends to lower profit margins. While this is preferable from a consumer point of view, it actually weakens the industry in the short term.
You spend a considerable amount of time discussing improving service to consumers. Again, while admirable, this does nothing to address the topic at hand; protecting the industry in the event of a recession. If you are actually arguing that a stronger customer orientation will protect the industry, you need to make this point in a more effective and succinct way.
There has been little improvement in the quality of your writing. Your paper still suffers from run on sentences, weak grammar and editorial mistakes (the company is call BELL NOT BELLUS).
Your paper needs substantial work if you wish to earn a passing grade in this course.
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